Camming and real life

Last night I was at the roller derby AFTER after party and I was discussing what my friends thought about my cam friend. It seems that they found her a little off-putting. I asked them why they thought so. Evidently, she asked them if they smoked and when everybody said they didn't, she pulled out her own pack of cigarettes. It basically made them feel like she felt like she was entitled to free things from men. It lead to a very interesting discussion.

The gist of the conversation; when a man buys a woman a drink is there a societal contract understood at that point that the woman then owes him a conversation? That's more or less where my opinion rests. I feel like by accepting a drink from a man at a bar I am suggesting that there is a possibility that I will at least entertain the idea of sleeping with him. I'm absolutely against one night stands. They will never happen no matter how witty and charming the man I meet might be. If he can't take the time to get to know me as a person, then he's not going to have biblical knowledge of me either. So my position has always been to decline drinks. I feel like it's misleading otherwise.

My friends, both male, disagreed. They claim that when a man buys a woman a drink it's just to open the door to a conversation. Perhaps, but I wonder how many guys will knowingly buy a drink for a married woman or a woman that they have zero interest in sleeping with?

Now we contrast that with the cam life where my time absolutely can be bought. Most models have Amazon wishlists with links that say things like "spoil me". This is something I've been struggling with doing myself. The part of me that won't let a man buy me a drink because it feels too close to taking advantage thinks this is that on an amped up scale. Even a paperback book is going to cost more than a drink. I'm not willing to let  guy buy me a $3 shot, but I'd let him pick over my wish list (which, if I'm being honest about my "wishes", would include $600 cameras and lenses that can run more than $1k)?

But then there's the other part of my mind that knows that there are a lot of men who enjoy being able to provide the girls he likes with things they'll love. Some guys like spending the money that way rather than on tips because he knows she'll get the full value of his gift. And some guys actually get off on taking care of a "princess". Nobody is being forced to do anything they don't want and when you get down to it, a wish list is just a bunch of wishes, not demands.

I'll probably go that route to give men more options. I know that, unlike at the bar, these men are actually getting what they are paying for. I'm providing a service that these men are looking for. I actually take a lot of satisfaction from that. My job might be a little distasteful to some, but I'm proud of the amount of effort I put into making sure that I'm pleasing my men. My work ethic is rock solid. If a man chooses to reward me for that, then why should I feel guilty or greedy about it? Employees don't feel bad when they get a Christmas bonus, right?

I just wonder if someday I'll be so accustomed to spending time with men who love to spoil me that I just expect every man I encounter to want to do the same. I think that's when you start to have some problems. I think as long as I continue to keep in mind what service I'm providing for a person before I expect some sort of payment or favor, I'll be ok.

The importance of regulars

Ah, I'm sure I know what you're thinking. Regulars are important because a lot of times they contribute substantially to a girl's paycheck. And from what I've read, that's true. If a girl can cultivate a handful of generous regulars who love what she's doing then she's all set. I'm not quite to that point yet, but it sounds awesome.

No, I'll tell you why *I* think regulars are important.

I don't have anything exciting to count down to. The burden of being entertaining falls squarely on my ability to make engaging conversation. I love talking and meeting new people, but as I found out this morning in a horrible fail moment, I can't do it if nobody is going to talk back.

I've only been camming a week today. I think I've been online 4 different times now? So that's not a lot of time to build up a stable of loyal fans, but I have found maybe 4 different guys who have visited at least a couple of those times and hung out nearly the whole time. The tips are nice, but even better was the fact that they responded to my questions and asked fun questions of their own. Frankly, I run a better room when they are in it.

I don't mute guests or basics at this point. I know they can't tip me, but some of my best topics have come from guest engagement. This is absolutely a matter of opinion, but since my whole schtick is that I'm a chick with a fun personality, it's really important to surround myself with people who let me shine.

I'm not going to name any names on here, but if I did I'd so give these guys a giant shout out for just being amazing people and fucking fantastic conversationalists.

I might log on again this afternoon since I had really good luck with afternoon traffic on Wednesday, but I'm for sure going to hop on at some point this evening. If you are reading this and thinking to yourself that you'd like to do some verbal sparring with me, please join me in chat later. I'd welcome the challenge of a great conversation.

Follow me on Twitter (@RylieBradford) for updates. I try to post a quick tweet before I get online.

And if you are one of the regulars I'm talking about and you're reading this, I hope you know who you are and know that I appreciate the ever loving hell out of you.

/Hug!

5 tips for a great private show

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Something for nothing

I've been reading a lot of forums about MFC since I started doing this crazy (and fun, and exciting, and...) adventure. I'm not an expert or even a very well informed noob, I'm afraid. But here's what I've gleaned from my reading.

Every model has a camscore on the site. The higher the camscore, generally the better the tips to time spent online ratio is for the model. A better camscore gets you on the first few pages. I've never tried searching myself out, but since my camscore is only around 700, I'm guessing I'm probably at least 4 or 5 pages in, if not more.

Now, this is not a post to bitch about my low score. I'm new to the site and learning my way around, I've never done anything like this before, and I don't get naked. These aren't things that are necessarily working in my favor. I understand that I'm never going to be a top 20 (or probably a top 200 even) girl. I'm beyond ok with that. I just wanted to explain something that goes through my mind.

I get a lot of requests that seem pretty harmless on the surface. "Stand up and turn around bb." "Can I see your feet?" "Let us see your ass!"

Sure, none of those go against my never nude philosophy. But none of these guys are tipping. Not even a trivial amount. It's pretty demeaning that these guys expect me to dance around like a trained circus bear, but can't be bothered to throw me at least a few tokens for my trouble.

Some math...

Since I've started camming I've pretty consistently had between 20-30 people in my room. Which is, frankly, more than I was afraid would want to hang out with me when there are so many other girls who are more beautiful, or more personable, or just... more, in general.

Ok, but let's say I have 30 people in my room. If everybody who enjoyed chatting with me were to tip just 10 tokens an hour each, I'd easily have the 300 tokens an hour that seems to be the bare minimum needed to keep my camscore at 1k. So with that in mind, it makes it really insulting to me when some douche comes in and demands things from me without tipping anything.

If you saw me in a bar and you thought I was cute and you wanted to chat with me, you'd most likely offer to buy me a drink. I'm not a picky girl so a shot of house vodka or, if I'm in a fancy mood, a pineapple and vodka. It would set you back a whopping $3-5. And you wouldn't even expect to see me writing naked on the floor with a dildo shoved up my ass.

I cam because I feel like I bring something unique to the table. That something is not a cumshow. I can give you a spoiler right now and tell you I'm pretty much the lease sexy woman you will ever meet and seeing me attempt something erotic would probably leave us both in tears and seeking therapy.

I am a girl you can talk to. I don't judge, I won't get disgusted by the things you say, and I won't be offended (unless you are deliberately being a dickhole. In that case, you have my permission to go fuck yourself with splintery shovel handle). I love dirty jokes and pop culture and all kinds of quirky things. There is a market for my brand of weird. I've had some amazing privates and I'm willing to bet as more people stumble across me, I'll have many many more.

But if you've made it through all this, the main take away is please, don't demand things from a girl without being willing to pay for it. Maybe you luck out on some of the newer girls and get a free show, but you are banking bad karma. Probably in the form of a super hot girl carrying a really good case of herpes.

My 1st day on the job

Deciding to try the camgirl thing was pretty spur of the moment. I think it took 3 days from idea planted to fully realized thing happening. I spent those days looking into it from every angle. My biggest fear is that I would have to get naked on camera.

My feelings on nudity on cam are complex. It would take me several (most likely boring) paragraphs to touch on them all. I suppose my primary motivator is having control of the situation. I have something that these men want from me and I'm withholding it. It's kind of hot. I've never considered myself to be sexually dominating, but I think that there might just be some potential there.

Once I determined that I would be 100% free to establish my own personal boundaries in chat and that there was no obligation to get naked, I decided to go for it. I read some forums, and am still reading them, full of tips for running a successful chat room and tips for avoiding common pitfalls. I thought I was ready for anything. I knew I was going to be great at it. I love meeting new people and I enjoy being the center of attention.

I felt really confident when I turned on my cam.  I was bulletproof. I was probably going to make a couple of hundred dollars in a couple of hours and go grab a celebratory drink after.

I lasted *maybe* five minutes before I bolted.

I wish I was exaggerating. It was just overwhelming. I did my fair share of watching girls on MFC, both the top earners and girls with the new girl tag. I even did random cam hopping. I just wanted to know what to expect. Most of the new girls had about 10-15 people in their rooms with some fairly good engagement. It didn't seem so bad.

When I logged on, I went from me alone to maybe 20 or 30 viewers in the space of 30 seconds. I had no way to test the software while it was just me and maybe one or two people so I couldn't tell if everything was working ok and I didn't understand the controls to interact with everybody.

The regulars on MFC use their own lingo, as so many websites tend to do after years of use. I felt like I was speaking a different language. I had PMs stacking up and I'm the kind of person who tries my hardest to respond to every single email, blog comment, DM or even @mention on Twitter. Seeing these PMs was killing me, but really what could I say to such eloquent hellos as "how much to shove a dildo in ur ass?"

All the while the people in chat were barking commands at me. Half of them were asking me to get naked or perform various sex acts upon my person. The other half were commanding me to mute guests and basics. Nobody was tipping though, just a bunch of dudes trying to take advantage of a new girl who, as far as they knew, didn't know what she was doing or how things are supposed to work.

Thanks to my reading, I already had a good idea of how I wanted things to run in my room. First of all, I don't believe in banning guests and basics unless they are abusive or excessively obnoxious. You never know when a guest might decide to become a premium member because you were welcoming and gave them a chance to participate in the site and see how interactive it can be.

Secondly, I know better than to give anyone a free show. But also I've determined my lines and no amount of money or offers to go private will make me compromise my limits. So these orders to show my tits or GTFO were really annoying, but I was so harried from trying to figure out how to run my room that I wasn't keeping control of things.

That's the point where I freaked out. I was talking to one person in particular who seemed really helpful and knowledgeable. I turned off my camera and friended him so that I could continue to PM with him once he walked me through turning those off. When he suggested that we talk on Skype, I agreed. It would be easier to talk in real time than to type everything out.

So we get on a call and he's got the camera pointed at his chest. I'm guessing that pretty much any girl who's done any c2c can guess where this is going. Hell, I knew and I'd only been a camgirl for 5 minutes. Dude was planning to jerk off and expected me to talk him through it. So much for my "hero".

At that point I had a choice to make. He hadn't tipped me a single token. He was supposed to be helping me and here he was poised to take advantage of me because I was new and he thought I didn't know any better. However, since he hadn't tipped me, I knew I wouldn't feel bad if I wasn't any good at it. I could use this opportunity to hone my skills. I'm not a very vocal person in bed, but that's a skill I'm going to have to improve if I'm going to be any good at this gig.

I don't want to imply that this guy forced me into anything. He asked me every step of the way if I was cool with what was happening. But I was annoyed nevertheless because if a girl isn't informed then how can she give informed consent? As a regular he KNEW that what he was doing was skeezy, despite how consenting I might have seemed.

I'm no expert, but I can't imagine it was any good for him. I wasn't feeling it at all. I was there under false pretenses. I'm not a greedy person, but come on, man. We're not lovers. Not even friends. There is no equality in this kind of partnership. When a man tips, it's a gesture of appreciation and it makes me feel like we're both investing something in our time together and both getting something out of it. For me it's the money to pay my internet bill or rent and for him it's a block of time where he's calling the shots and a pretty girl is enthusiastically doing all she can to make sure he loves every minute of it.

I wish I could say that this is all in the distant past and I've learned so much, but I'm still really green. I've only got a few sessions under my belt and there is so much I still need to learn and soooo much room for improvement.

How I got started camming

I am a newly minted camgirl, fresh from the farm. How new? My I logged on for the first time Friday night (it's now Sunday afternoon). I decided to start a blog to talk about what I learn from this experience. Maybe it'll help another girl out or maybe you'll just enjoy cringing at how absolutely awkward I am. Either way, that's good enough for me.

My adventure started about 2 weeks ago. I was helping my friend cohost trivia at the bar he works for. There was a girl there I hadn't met before. She had some cool tats and a pretty smile and the most striking blue hair. I knew right away that I really wanted to meet her. I just thought she looked cool and self assured and possibly not crazy, which is a new criterion I've recently added when considering a new friendship. I tend to attract batshit crazy people. I have no idea why and I haven't figured out a way to use that super power to benefit all of mankind.

Anyway, one of the perks of hosting trivia is the bribery. Teams will bring you shots in the hopes you'll be generous in overlooking their wrong answers. However, if you are a pretty girl at trivia you run a real risk of alcohol poisoning. I was on my 5th or 6th shot of the evening when I finally worked up enough courage to flirt with Judy. Drunk Rylie is pretty much a dry hump away from a sexual assault at any given moment and this was pretty much what you'd expect.

She was turning in an answer for her team when I grabbed her by the arm and slurred coyly, "I want to be best friends with you!"

To her credit, she didn't immediate bolt or jerk her arm away. Instead she said that she'd like to hang out after trivia. So we did.

Judy was really just as cool as I thought she would be. She actually called and texted afterwards, which is something I'm really bad about. I'm an awesome friend if you are happy to only communicate via Facebook likes. Actual human interaction seems like such a commitment. But I decided to put that aside for the time being and accept when Judy wanted to grab dinner on Tuesday.

I knew it was going to be an interesting night because I was so curious about her work as a camgirl. I write erotica (porn really) so I'm used to being the one that people whisper about, but writing about sex is a lot different than being openly sexual on a cam in front of potentially thousands of people. I wanted to know all about it. It just sounded like the coolest job in the world, but one I could never do.

I met up with Judy and her friend. I soon found out that she and her friend both do cam work and that sometimes they'll get together on sites that allow it and do shows together. They invited me back to the friend's house to watch them work.

I wasn't sure what to expect at this point. I mean this was a first for me. Two pretty girls wanted me to come to their place and watch them sexually entertain strangers via webcam? Ummm... yes please.

They turned on their cams and dropped their pants until they were both chatting in just tank tops and panties. These girls have the most fantastic breasts... you can get lost in there and die happy. Then they started chatting. They weren't talking much so I'm not sure if they were on MFC or another site. But it was fun watching them play their rooms. Judy sat on a big gray exercise ball and started bouncing. Slowly at first and pretty soon she was really working it. It was hot. I can only imagine that the tips started rolling in at that point.

I'd love to tell you what happened next, but unfortunately, I had to leave shortly afterward. I like to imagine that at some point they started rubbing oil and lotion all over each other, but that is purely speculation on my part. Whatever they did, I'm positive it was hot.

I'm sure some of you are wondering, how the hell do you go from hot girl on girl cam action to Little Miss Rylie Never Nude? Ah, well at first I thought to myself, "That looks like so much fun, but I obviously can't ever do that." I don't know, it's just not an idea that turns me on. I'm so much more a voyeur than an exhibitionist. I will watch a man stroke himself to orgasm with a smile on my face, but taking off my clothes on cam? I don't like that loss of control.

I did some research after that though and found that not only can non nude camming be done, but that some of those women own that shit and bank some serious pay checks. I thought about how amazing it would be to get to talk to so many people with all kinds of different kinks and fetishes that I could write about. I finally decided, what the hell and signed up.

The process was really easy and I was able to go live the same day. Since this post is already about 20 pages long, I'll write about my first time on cam in another post.

Have a wonderful day, you delightful perverts. ;)